Spellbound – Gabriel Cross, Sergio Wilde
A large number of men secretly fantasize about rape; some as aggressors and others as victims. We feel very confused by these fantasies. They don’t make sense to us on a conscious level, because no one wants to be truly harmed. However, in the symbolic world, being forcibly “caught” by another can convey reassurance to the one who believes himself to be deeply unwanted. In fantasy, being forced can mean the opposite: contrary to his fears, he is, in fact, so incredibly desired that another simply cannot help himself and will even employ force if necessary to have him.
So fantasy asserts both the problem and the solution to our fears. We need to feel viscerally wanted. And perhaps in our daily lives, we build huge walls for others, unable to feel the desire and potential for connection that is all around us. These walls can require psychological strength to break down. We carry the tools within us; we just need to look deep within ourselves and build the lives that call us to greater expression.
