Fame: The state of being known or talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements.
We organize the fragmented pieces of our psyche into ordered compositions that we perform for ourselves and others. In fact, we are many internal pieces of often conflicting points of view. We struggle to understand how we oscillate between extremes within ourselves. On the one hand, we are told to be seen and not heard, to avoid too much attention, to minimize the potential for jealousy among our peers. On the other hand, we are encouraged to express ourselves grandly, to be ourselves, to be identified for who we are. In the same way, we war within ourselves over what others might think of us if they really knew who we are.
We selectively emphasize what is preferable and de-emphasize what is not. We meet other people with the expectation that our selected personalities will suffice for authenticity. We are not bad for deceiving others; we’re just surviving a cultural experience that requires neutralizing extremes, modifying oneself toward a collective goal, while simultaneously being encouraged to shine as individuals: a mindfuck for even the most consciously cultivated among us. The truth is, we need attention and we seek attention in both conscious and unconscious ways. Our culture dictates the values that we must pursue and cherish: beauty, prestige, money and externalized power acquisition, etc. We often believe that possessing these values will reward us with fame of moderate or grand proportions.
Interestingly, a single desire for fame is often a shadow of our formative needs for attention, often unmet and still aching in the hearts of all of us. Even with good enough parents, many of us don’t get exactly the kind of attention we could really demand. We run through this paradox as we mature into adulthood; it is a cycle of seeking attention, receiving attention, avoiding attention, and feeling conflicted. Along the way, in the best cases, we discover our own unique domains of needs and learn to ask others to willingly participate in our attempts at fulfillment. We learn to integrate what happens when we get what we need and the do’s and don’ts when we don’t.
